It was all I could do to take a shower before I poured myself a glass of wine.
Out the door, I knew it was going to be bad, but this was ridiculous. First, it's summer here in Florida and it gets humid and we get these swarms of gnats. Those nasty clouds of those little bugs that you can't even swat away.
So I'm running and eating bugs. Mmm. And I'm trying to get them out of my eyes (there's one that I know is there because I see a little blurry out of the corner, but I can't seem to "find" it). They're in my nose.
I've been running for a few minutes now and I'm starting to sweat. I look down at my chest at all my freckles -- wait a minute... I don't have freckles. Those are more freaking bugs.
OK. So there are bugs. I'm over it. But then I run up on three kids on my sidewalk. They're exercising (bless them for combating childhood obesity), BUT as I'm catching up to them, they start running -- so now I can't pass them. Then they slow down and start doing this high-stepping thing, so I figure I can pass them now.
I pick back up the pace, and they start running again. I'm annoyed. I stop for a minute. They start high-stepping. I run again; gonna pass. They start freaking running again!
I'm not about to run in a pack with these three, and I think it's incredibly rude of them to keep this crap up so I can't get past them. Thanks for crapping on my run. So I turn around.
I'm almost home. At this point I'm not even running anymore. Now I'm just totally defeated and just strolling with my new buggy buddies, looking around at the neighborhood.
Which is when I notice the used condom on the edge by the grass where I'm walking. Well that's just lovely. At least we know they were safe.
I wish I was safe from shitty runs.