Dear human race,
Do not watch this ridiculous woman on TV. Octomom -- really? If you have any faith in the human race, you'll promise me to never, ever watch this show.
Why, you ask? It's a train wreck and there's nothing we like to watch more than a good old-fashioned train wreck...
Let's start with the fact that this crazy lady is a nutcase. There are tons of woman out there who can't have children who would be awesome, amazing moms -- and this woman is somehow allowed to mass produce and hoard them? Then some friggin' network (shame on you, FOX, although I'm not surprised it was you) actually pays her some absurd about of money to be on TV.
Like we haven't had enough of her on TV.
People, you have something better to watch. As I find something to watch tonight, I'm going to purposely flip though the channels the other way so I don't inadvertently give her damn show a second of viewing time to contribute to the ratings.
And God forbid the show fizzles off after a bit. What then? I bet she squirts in a few dozen more sperm and pops out 10 or so more innocent children to ruin. That'll get her back in the media, right? In the meantime, I hope no other crazy bitches out there copycat her baby factory idea.
Besides, I'm sure there's something waaaay more interesting on, like that vegetable slicer infomercial or a blank TV screen.
And speaking of getting my panties in a bunch... maybe if Octomom would just keep hers on... Just sayin.
Showing posts with label don't try this at home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label don't try this at home. Show all posts
Jun 23, 2009
Things you can't do if you burn the shit out of your thumb
Extreme cooking tip #1: That thing you just pulled out of the oven? It's friggin' hot.
Really hot. In fact -- and I learned this the hard way -- I don't recommend touching it. Your thumb will hurt... bad. And as if hurting didn't suck enough, there will now be things that you will find you just can't do anymore.
So I bring you my list of things I can't do because I burned the shit out of my thumb:
1. Button my pants.
2. Turn my key to start my car.
3. Release the emergency brake.
4. Fasten my bra.
5. I can't wait to blow dry and use the flat iron on my hair tomorrow...
6. Use the mouse. You'd be surprised how much your thumb is involved. (Try it.)
7. Crochet that cute duckie I was working on (Shut up. I'm going to make someone a faaabulous grandma one day.)
8. Take my finger out of the ice water.
9. Type. Not very well at least. Friggin' space bar gets me every time.
10. Sleep, probably. Come on, Advil!
However, there is one thing that doesn't seem to be giving me any problems... This glass of wine.
Really hot. In fact -- and I learned this the hard way -- I don't recommend touching it. Your thumb will hurt... bad. And as if hurting didn't suck enough, there will now be things that you will find you just can't do anymore.
So I bring you my list of things I can't do because I burned the shit out of my thumb:
1. Button my pants.
2. Turn my key to start my car.
3. Release the emergency brake.
4. Fasten my bra.
5. I can't wait to blow dry and use the flat iron on my hair tomorrow...
6. Use the mouse. You'd be surprised how much your thumb is involved. (Try it.)
7. Crochet that cute duckie I was working on (Shut up. I'm going to make someone a faaabulous grandma one day.)
8. Take my finger out of the ice water.
9. Type. Not very well at least. Friggin' space bar gets me every time.
10. Sleep, probably. Come on, Advil!
However, there is one thing that doesn't seem to be giving me any problems... This glass of wine.
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