Jun 23, 2009

Things you can't do if you burn the shit out of your thumb

Extreme cooking tip #1: That thing you just pulled out of the oven? It's friggin' hot.

Really hot. In fact -- and I learned this the hard way -- I don't recommend touching it. Your thumb will hurt... bad. And as if hurting didn't suck enough, there will now be things that you will find you just can't do anymore.

So I bring you my list of things I can't do because I burned the shit out of my thumb:

1. Button my pants.

2. Turn my key to start my car.

3. Release the emergency brake.

4. Fasten my bra.

5. I can't wait to blow dry and use the flat iron on my hair tomorrow...

6. Use the mouse. You'd be surprised how much your thumb is involved. (Try it.)

7. Crochet that cute duckie I was working on (Shut up. I'm going to make someone a faaabulous grandma one day.)

8. Take my finger out of the ice water.

9. Type. Not very well at least. Friggin' space bar gets me every time.

10. Sleep, probably. Come on, Advil!

However, there is one thing that doesn't seem to be giving me any problems... This glass of wine.

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