Jun 28, 2008

Guys who don't get it

An open letter to guys at bars.

Dear Guys at Bars,

Just because I let you buy me a drink, it does not mean I want to give you my phone number. You don't need it because I don't plan on ever seeing you again. If I do give you my phone number, it's because I'm too nice to say no -- you just bought me a drink. Also, if I do happen to give the my real phone number, it's only because of stupid cell phones and the likelihood of you calling my phone right there on the spot so I can "save yours too." P.S. I'm not and I don't.

Second, if you do end up with my real phone number and you call me, and I don't pick up, please don't call again. You look stupid. Especially those who leave a message and I don't call you back. Also, don't text me all the time either. You're clogging up my inbox and it's not like I'm going to text you back.

Third, no, I do not want to meet up for dinner next time you're in town. You live out of town?! How lucky could I be! Now I don't have to worry about accidentally seeing you around and having to play nice. Now go back home like a good boy and check your bank account to make sure you didn't overdraw it with all those expensive drinks you bought.

Fourth, do not call me all kinds of early the next morning to "say hi." Do not call me early -- you're not and will never be on my good morning list. And don't call me to say hi. I said all I had to say when I thanked you for the drink.

And last, no my friends don't want to hook up with your friends either. It was very convenient that we all got free drinks out of the deal, but we were just being nice so we could save a little money. We're all a little broke her (damn gas prices), and we're not above smiling and flirting a little for a free drink (or three).

Thanks for the drink,

P.S. I know you made a point to remember my name and all, but I have no idea what yours is. Thanks for the free drink.

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