Victoria's Secret

Haha... panties in a bunch, Victoria's Secret, panties... harr. NO. Not what I'm talking about.

I never thought Victoria's Secret would make it to my bitch list, but here they are. You see, VS is one piece of my Holy Trinity of Shopping (Express/VS/Target -- duh). They can do no wrong, and I find something to spend money on every single time I go there or peruse their catalogs (quit sending me a new one every 3 days and maybe I'd be able to save a little money here, Vickie. Thanks.)

So I was delighted to receive the latest swimsuit catalog... as I always am. And equally as delighted to find a fabulous bikini I liked (shocker, I know). Which I ordered, despite the fact that it was overpriced and I had to pay like $20 for shipping on top of that. No matter, I love my new suit!

And it comes. To my office! I have a package! Yay! I open it and love it just as much as I did on freakin Giselle Bundchen or whoever perfect they had modeling it in the catalog. I can't wait to take it home and try it on!

Which I do. And wouldn't you know, the bottoms are too small (And you know what a too-small bikini bottom looks like. Can you say muffin top?). No problem, I'll just call and order the next size up.

It's back-ordered until May 21. Go ahead, check your calendars. That's like two months away.

#1. Do you know what kind of FIERCE tan lines I'll have from my old suit by then?!!

2. You're telling me VS only gets shipments once every two months? I call bullshit.

So now I have to return the whole thing. Cause I can't have my poor beautiful bikini top waiting, lonely and abandoned, for TWO MONTHS for it's other half.

Stupid VS. Thanks a lot.