Jan 18, 2009

Smile, a-holes.

Did someone Sharpie something awful on my forehead? Are my boobs so freakin' ginormous that you can't look at me straight or, for that matter, look at me at all? Do I have a third boob I don't know about?

Seriously, why is it that most of us are so rude that we can't even acknowledge or smile when we walk past each other? It's not like I'm asking you to have a conversation with me. I don't care what your kids' names are, what you're name is or even how you're doing... I'm saying: Just smile.

Here's the scenario: We're both walking towards each other. Maybe we're in a hallway, maybe we're outside both going for a walk or run, maybe we're coming in/going out of the grocery store. Either way, you've seen me coming for at least 10 steps now -- and you are making a conscious effort to start straight forward; God forbid we make eye contact... because then you'd have to acknowledge me. God forbid! Oh, the horror!

Are you too good for me? That bitch is smiling at me... she's got a lot of nerve!

Breaking news: You're the bitch.

A simple smile is friendly. It's common courtesy. I'm right here, asshole -- why do you feel the need to ignore me? It's just rude, and even ruder if I smile at you and you proceed to ignore me.

You know what? Maybe you're right, assholes. Keep to yourselves. Stay in your bubbles. But one day I hope someone actually Sharpies your head or you grow that third boob, and I happen to walk by you then -- with the biggest damn smile on my face you've ever seen.

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